An Open Letter: To THAT Girl…That Sh***y Friend

Dear Miss 2Face,

Here’s the thing: I never liked you. We went to school together…middle school and high school. We hung out with the same crowd, occasionally had class together and sat together at lunch…out of convenience. We would also partner together for projects or in gym class because none of our other friends were there and we also weren’t the most popular kids. Oh well. A lot of people like you for some reason, but I could see right through your fake, shallow, and follower-like tendencies. Basically you were annoying. It was also a disadvantage that you were best friends with a good friend of mine, so I saw you more than I wanted to.

You and her were best friends. Great. When you weren’t there, she and I had so much fun together. But when you were there, I always felt like the third wheel. You loved the same things she did, because you had no personality or interests of your own. And somehow after all these years a lot of people love you. Why? I don’t know. I also remember your “inside” jokes with your best friend, making comments about other people, joking and laughing when I was there and I had no idea about what. You did that on purpose because I know some of those comments and “jokes” were about me. And you both had the balls to say it in front of me. Why? I’m not stupid. I know. I’ll never forget how it made me feel. I’ll always remember the time when all 3 of us were supposed to have a girls night in and our friend called me and told me the night was cancelled because of some lame excuse. And then the both of you stupidly mention your night together to me a week later, on that same night, when you both had to cancel. This letter isn’t directed just at you. No. You both were shitty friends. You had your moments when both of you were there for me, but at the end of the day neither of you really cared.

In fact, this letter is for all those people that don’t give a sh*t about someone you call a “friend”. You may use your “friend” as a last minute person to accompany you somewhere when everyone else is inconveniently busy, you may talk about them behind their back, or use them in some way. You are cruel and selfish and should be ashamed of yourself. They say it takes less energy to be kind than to be mean or cruel. So why do it? Does it make you feel better about yourself to put someone else down? Then you are a bully. An adult, pathetic, self-conscious bully.

Here’s the thing: I’m not an innocent either. I’ve made bad choices and bad decisions in my life. I’ve spent the last 6 years basically cutting everyone else out of my life and isolating myself from the world. I apologized to those I have wronged and forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made and the things that can’t be changed. But I’ve changed. I will never be a sh***y friend to anyone again. Friendship is a special relationship that has to be earned, not just given.

So this is my proposal: Do you have a friend you’ve mistreated? If so, apologize or change now. You can be a good friend and a good person to others. We all make mistakes but those mistakes can only be forgiven and made whole if we learn from them. An apology isn’t worth anything if you don’t have the actions to back it up.

Love,

The Girl Who Learned Her Lesson